How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
