Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
