I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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