she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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