Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
