I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize