no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This baby is an asshole
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
