I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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