I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
