So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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