I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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