so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
