Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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