Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
