Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
