Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
