I just threw up on my dentist
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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