just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize