just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize