I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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