I hope mine doesn't look like that
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You did what with his pubic hair?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
