Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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