dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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