how can u be prego again
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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