a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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