So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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