ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
