for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
