Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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