I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
