I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
