Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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