i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
