New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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