We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The adults are the big ones right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
