I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
