i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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