Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
