Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
