The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Boobs are out for the taking
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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