good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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