I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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