So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize