question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
