Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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