How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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