hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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