In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
