I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
