Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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