I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
