He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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