So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize