even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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