I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
