every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
